This morning I'd like to focus some thoughts on the reading from Proverbs. Because the bride in this passage is inconceivably amazing. In 21 verses, we hear how she is taking on the world, and excelling in everything she does.
To name but a few of the characteristics: she’s reliable, consistent, organised.She works hard for her money, and knows its value.
She’s the first one up in the morning, and the last to bed at night;
she oversees her whole household to make sure things are done well.
She uses her resources to be generous to those in her employ, ensuring that they are looked after well, and know that they are appreciated.
She strives for justice.
She is world-wise and educated, and inspires learning for her household.
She’s a careful dresser, appreciating finer clothing but also being engaged with all the processes of what she enjoys.
She’s a hard worker, hands on in every area of commerce, and enjoys both skill, knowledge, and wisdom in economic ventures.
She’s a person of faith, who focuses on what is important and eternal, and will not be swayed by fads or trends.
She knows her land – because she walks her land in its caring.
She knows her garden – because she works her garden in its maintenance and growth.
She knows her family – because she is intentional in her relationship building and engagements.
She is a woman known for her faith, for her integrity, for the works she produces: both in her immediate circle and in the broader community.
She knows who she is, and she is true to herself and true to God.
To be blunt: that’s a lot. Is anyone else feeling a bit voerwhelmed at what this one single woman can do?
We should be. Because the ideal woman in this passage is ideal.
Or, more accurately: she’s idealised.
She’s not real - the dictionary defines ideal as existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality.
The woman being described here is not some super-hero woman; this is the list of qualities that Bathsheba (yes, of the sunbathing on the roof story) is giving to her son King Lemuel (also known as Solomon – as in the Wisdom of…).
And they know that there is no way that one person could do all those things; but it’s a nice conceptual compilation.
But centuries of folks trying to make this idealised list a set of itemised requirements: yikes.
Because we do the best we can: but we can’t always be the greatest; certainly not at everything.
And the other scriptures today remind us that even if we are the ‘best’ at something, it doesn’t have to mean going it alone. Even Jesus to his disciples tells them that being the so-called “greatest” is not what we should be striving for.
The imagery of the Proverbs sets up unrealistic expectations if we’re trying to be a one-person hero.
The imagery of one person doing all the hard work: not really helpful, and not healthy.
The imagery of success automatically and invariably following effort: we know that’s not always the outcome.
The imagery of inflexible gender roles – well, that’s led to a whole lot of gender-related inequality, when the notion of “being a Proverbs 31 woman!” (and yes, that’s a thing) – denigrates women.
The imagery of complete mastery over all things – this continues a domination mentality over the creation, which we know is contributing to our climate changing and extremely negative affects for all life on the planet.
So… this morning I’m going to invite us NOT to get caught up in this impressive list
But rather, let’s go right back to the beginning – the first description of the woman in question.
A Capable Wife? Who can Find??
The Hebrew for capable wife is Eshet chayil
Eshet meaning woman, or female partner.
Chayil is translated as worthy, strong, powerful, virtuous. It describes valour, efficiency, ability, excellency.
So our woman of valour then: remains an ideal. Without description of appearance, or name, or family lines… she’s a concept.
The proverb reminds us that the valour of a person is in the essence of who they are. As Rachel held Evans puts it: “women of valor can be found in all kinds of cultures, in all kinds of roles, and in all kinds of circumstances. The truth is, a woman of noble character will fulfill any role with valor.”
A woman of valour: is a women who acts WITH valour, focusing on the areas of doing good all her days and receiving the trust of her companions and of praising God with all she does.
So here’s the next step deeper with our lovely woman of valour: our Eshet Chayil.
The word Chayil is a masculine noun. It’s origins, and 260 other uses in scripture, intend it to describe the manliest of men. It speaks of armies, and integrity in battle, and strength in fighting.
So for the entirety of this Proverb, speakers of the Hebrew text aren’t limited in their understanding of male verses female characteristics. They understand that this is not about the perfect wife:
It’s a message about a balance, and shared responsibility, within a community.
That’s why this “capable” wife is referred to as a question. Who can find her?
She doesn’t exist on her own. She can’t.
The proverb’s teaching here is inviting a community to come together, in balance, in service, in mutual care and compassion: to fulfill those roles.
So… What if every member of a community would bring their noble characteristics, their God-given skills and gifts, their talents and treasures, and do a little bit, to the best of their ability?
Imagine the goodness that would come to, and from, such a community:
It would be hard-working and just and faithful and celebratory;
it would practice good stewardship of land and resources, using wonderful creativity and joy-filled and loving.
It would be inclusive and affirming and encouraging and inspiring;
it would look after people and animals and all of creation, for generations to come.
It would be … well, it would be ideal. In every way. And for every one.
A community of valour; a community of love.
Who can find? That community would be priceless, and everyone would want to be a part of it!
And imagine if that community did all these things as an expression of their faith. A God-loving community – a church community, even! – fulfilling the many roles and characteristics of what it can mean to BE a God-loving community.
The good news is, we can – and do! - aspire to be that community. We can come together with intentionality, sharing what God has given us, delighting in what’s possible when we all come together. In love, in service, in the journey of faith that lets us try.
The level of efficiency and competency is not guaranteed: it takes effort and attempts and failures and practice and adjustments.
But the desire to continue in the journey, in the work, in the celebration: it’s worth it. To be the community of valour; the church of faith, the people of integrity that in all things are striving to love and serve God, and love and serve each other – this is something we are doing, and by God’[s grace will continue to do.
So as we continue our shared journey of faith, let’s consider and pray and discern how God is calling us to BE that community.
A church, active in the name of God in this place and this time.
Celebrating authentic and joy-filled worship;
Engaging all people with compassion and love,
Showing leadership in caring for God’s created world,
exercising generosity beyond our walls;
a church known for being: well, a capable – and valourous - church.
A capable church – who can find?
God willing, we will not just find it, but will do our part to BE it.
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