Happy Mid-Lent! Yes,
we're half-way through the season. How is your spiritual discipline going? 40
days is a long time; falling off the wagon (so to speak) is easy. Here's the
GREAT news though - we're only half-way there - which means we still have half
of the season to keep it up, to go back to our practice, to really work on that
spiritual growth and discipline that comes from the practices of a holy Lent:
namely, "self-examination, penitence, prayer,
fasting, and almsgiving, and by reading and meditating on the word of
God."[1]
This morning I'm going
to invite us to really dig deeper into the Word of God that is before us today,
applying the lesson to our own lives. We're journeying with Jesus into a parable
that is well known, well cited, and sometimes gets less reflection and
awareness than perhaps it should. The prodigal son is a difficult lesson; it's
not fair. When we feel that we've been wronged, we want things to be fair- fair
from our perspective, which is not
always the same perspective as God's.
Let's think about
today's folks. Two boys; one rather cheekily makes an unrealistic demand of his
father. Dad, I guess knowing what would happen, agrees to it, and gives each son
a whackload of cash - their inheritance - despite his still being healthy and
happy.
So, the one son stays
at home - does everything as he's always done; helps out with the family, with
the farm, etc. Doesn't ask for anything more than he's always had, in fact
works extra hard as the family's assets are now literally half of what they
used to be.
The other boy, however,
goes out with everything that he feels entitled to - and he blows it. Parties
hard, always picks up the tab, until his resources are depleted. At this point,
he realises what he's lost: the 'friends' following him around have moved onto
the next guy with cash-in-hand, he has no job and no real skills to get a job,
and even his family isn't there - he's turned his back on them.
And so he repents. He
returns - which would not have been an easy thing to do. It would have taken
great humility and courage to beg for more, from a family that has already
given him much more than he deserves. But he does, and he is forgiven; and
grace flows.
So let's talk about the
whole notion of forgiveness - because forgiveness is a difficult task that we
may not spend much time thinking about. We can say the words, but we're being invited
to truly ponder the implications, to apply what we learn to our daily lives and
relationships. And forgiveness is important to us as Christians - C.S. Lewis
said "to be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable in others because
Christ has forgiven the inexcusable in us."
Forgiveness is what we
have to do when we feel that we have been wronged - either intentionally or
unintentionally - by someone else. The first thing, of course, is that we're
called to admit this hurt, without expressing hatred. We can be angry, sad,
frustrated, feel betrayed - that's normal when there's been an injury - but
hatred crosses the line. And we know, that as Christians, we can admit these
emotions, but not act on them - that has the potential to make things worse,
not better.
Forgiveness, by its
very nature, an intentional act. It's not something that just 'happens' over
time, unless we choose to make it so. And we don't have to make that choice
alone; we're called to forgive, but we're reminded that God is with us in that
forgiving.
Forgiving does not mean
forgetting - pretending that something didn't happen is to deny our own
emotional response to it; which will be allowing that hurt, that brokenness, to
live on. Wounds need to heal, re-opening a wound is never good (be it emotional
or physical). Even the healthiest of healing can leave scars, but scars are no
longer a wound, it's a way to move forward. So too, forgiveness is the healing
of an emotional wound.
And forgiveness doesn't
mean going back to how things were before - time travel is still impossible for
us, we can't go back and undo what has happened. And whether reconciliation
happens or not, forgiveness can happen. All we can do is seek to have a future
that is free from the pain of the past. It may take time - a lot of time - but
all healing takes time. And forgiveness is a process of inner healing.
Forgiveness doesn't make the future into some utopia, it simply addresses what
has happened. Think about the parable - the father welcomes back the son, but
after that 'welcome home' party that son may indeed be working with his
servants, as he asked when he came home.
Forgiveness is what
happens when we realise we've abandoned all ill will toward the person we feel
has wronged us. And this takes time and effort; we have to choose over and over
again to dispell the ill will we harbour against someone who has (in our minds)
caused us some injury, until one day we realise that it's gone - and that means
that we have forgiven them.
The parable shows us
this; the father has obviously been working on forgiveness for some time; it's
why he is able to celebrate when the penitent son returns. The older brother,
however, has clearly not been working on forgiveness; hence his residual anger
at seeing his brother welcomed back.
Here's the best part
about forgiveness - it doesn't depend on anyone else. We don't have to wait for
the other party to apologise or repent; we can start the process of forgiveness
whenever WE are ready. We may not even know whose actions have caused us to
feel hurt - we can forgive. We don't forgive based on anything anyone else says
or does; it's not a "If that person says this then I'll forgive" -
rather we make the choice that forgiveness will happen in our lives. That being
said, we all know that forgiveness may happen faster when there is repentence
from the offending party. It makes sense; but it's not necessary.
We choose to forgive;
for our own benefit. We choose to forgive so that we are not caught up in the
hurt of the injury. We choose to forgive because we have decided that holding a
grudge is NOT what we want to be doing. And we choose to forgive because we
don't want that residual hurt and anger to influence how we live the rest of
our lives - all our future relationships, activities, connections. We choose,
too, because we have been forgiven - and therefore are living the example of
God's choice to forgive us. As a colleague wrote in his doctoral studies:
"The journey of Christian forgiving begins as a choice. It ends as a gift
of God's grace."[2]
We all need
forgiveness; sometimes we recognise that; sometimes we even ask for it. The
harsh reality is that sometimes we don't deserve forgiveness. BUT - and this is
a BIG BUT - God forgives us. God forgives with such profound abundance and
grace that we really should be amazed and overwhelmed by it.
God loves it when we
stay close to home. God loves it when we return home no matter how far or how
often we've strayed. God loves it when we are home, with our heavenly family,
seeking forgiveness and working towards reconciliation.
God is the Father in
this parable; and we are the children - both of them, at different points on
our faith journey. We are the child who stays and the child who strays.
And so, as we encounter
one another, we are invited to choose how we will respond to one another,
should the time come to forgive. We can choose how to respond to the act of
forgiveness: we can be bitter, like the older brother; he objects to his
brother receiving forgiveness, even though it has nothing to do with him, does
not come from him, and does not take anything away from him, but that he still
feels is 'unfair'.
Or we can choose to be
like the one who will celebrate the opportunity to forgive, putting peace and
harmony of today above differences and challenges of the past.
The choice, truly, is
ours. May we choose to forgive ourselves, our loved ones, and those whom we
struggle to love. May we choose to forgive all who have offended us, known and
unknown, by actions intentional and unintentional.
May we forgive others,
as easily as we have been forgiven. Forgive us our trespasses, Lord, as we
forgive those who trespass against us. Forgive us, Lord, as we all want to come
home to you.
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